Happy Anniversary to us! We’ve been married for 5 years today– Yaaaay! In honor of our 5 year anniversary, I thought that it would be fun to give 5 tips for a healthy relationship that we’ve learned in our years of marriage thus far.
Communication (always). Understanding how your partner communicates is key. When we got married we thought that we had great communication because we talked about things a lot. Mmm turns out we were not great communicators! Yes, we were trying to talk through things, but we were totally misunderstanding each other because we communicate so differently. Even if we get to the same conclusion, it’s likely that we get there completely different ways. If you can practice seeing the world through your partners lens, take into consideration how they grew up, what aspirations they have, etc. then you’ll likely have a much more healthy relationship. We’ve found that you don’t have to “pick your battles” if you truly understand each other, first because you’ll have less battles, and second because you’ll actually be able to come to a conclusion through honest communication.
Love language. This goes along with communication, but I think it’s important enough to be it’s own thing. Jono gives and receives love through service (i.e. washing the dishes, folding clothes, etc.) and I am more of a words of affirmation/physical touch person. I love to cuddle (he does too) and I tell him that I love him and that I appreciate him several times a day. Knowing how your partner gives love and likes to receive love can help you to adjust so that you can make sure that you’re giving what your partner needs, and that you’re receiving what you need as well.
Be quick to forgive. It can be easy to hold on to things and “keep score”, but it’ll only result in resentment toward your partner. No one benefits from pent up anger. Our advice is to be quick to forgive and also to be quick to apologize. We all get hangry, we all have off days, but if you can apologize quickly, and if you’re on the receiving end of the bad attitude, forgive quickly, your days will be a lot happier!
Remember, they are your person. You chose them and there’s a reason why. They are your bff, your support, your cheerleader and a million other things all wrapped into one. They’ll be there to support you through the crap storms that’ll come and they’ll be there to do the happy dance with you when things are freaking amazing. Try to always remember that and remind them why you chose to be with them. We’ve found that those little reminders make for tender moments, but they also help us to truly appreciate the other person.
Have fun. Marriage shouldn’t be some serious thing that you always have to “deal with”. You should be having fun! We learned early on not to engage in any kind of negative banter about one another through friends, colleagues, etc. This kind of talk is toxic! Don’t fall into the deep dark hole of justifying and enabling your (and your friends’) bad habits of continually venting about your spouse. You should be highlighting the great things about your partner! We really try to not take things too seriously because we can both get cranky and then life just isn’t, well, fun. If you can learn to laugh at yourself and your partner you’ll both likely be a lot happier as human beings!
Well, that’s it! Our top 5 tips for a healthy relationship. Do you have any tips that you want to share?
xoxo,
Karlee
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