Diary Entry: Honest Thoughts About “Influencing”

My first blog post of 2019– Whoop, whoop! I know, I know. It’s been 2019 for WEEKS (over a month at this point). I’ll be honest, I’ve been very uninspired lately. Yes, I’ve been busy, but I’ve also just felt… Blah. Like vanilla. Kind of avoiding my blog… I guess you could say I’ve been in sort of a rut as far as content goes and also a little frustrated. I feel like I see the same thing over and over and over. BARF. I even feel like I’ve lost my sense of self in my own content lately…

Here’s the thing– I started my blog to push myself. To grow. To be creative. To have an outlet.

Not to compete or make people jealous or feel like everyone else.

I know people want to say that it’s all rainbows and butterflies, but it’s not. I know you sorta, kinda, (maybe) want to believe that if you start a blog you’ll get lots of “free” stuff, but that’s not what it is. And if that’s your motivation then you shouldn’t start a blog.

Blogging is a weird thing because you are marketing yourself. Your job is literally showing your life. Which is really, really weird. And hard. How do you separate your life from your job? How do you take time for YOU (without documenting it)? How do you even know who you are? In some cases, I don’t really think people do.

I’ve seen this industry change people. I’ve seen kind, respectful people become conceited and obsessive. IT IS SCARY. It really is. Because people let the need to feel included, to feel cool & to receive praise get in the way of what is actually important.

On the flip side, I’ve seen incredible people build confidence and really, truly shine creating a hard core tribe of people who friggin’ love them and that is DOPE. But I also think it’s rare.

Here’s the thing– Being a blogger or influencer or whatever you want to call it is a delicate balance. It’s a balance between who you are and who you want to be. It’s a balance between creating inspirational content vs. straight up real life content. It’s a balance between living on your phone and living your ACTUAL life.

There’s obviously a lot of fomo that happens on social media. Sometimes I think people do it intentionally & some don’t. Either way, it happens. And I wanted to mention this because you really have to fight that feeling. You really need to be confident in what you have & in your own life & be thankful for those things because the comparing game is real & it can be really difficult to get out of the rut if you get in it. DON’T GET SUCKED IN!

Reality is, I think that we all just want to connect with each other right? And be a part of each others lives? Be friends? But connecting on the little screen is hard. So it all gets a little twisted.

I just feel like there are so many misconceptions and there is this strange sense of secrecy about being an influencer. There’s even this weird sense like pride and embarrassment all at the same time. It’s a weird, weird thing.

With that being said, I’ve been able to work with incredible brands. I’ve been able to meet amazing women. I’ve been able to provide for my family (on the side when I had a 9-5 and now full-time at home with my baby). And I will be forever thankful for that. 

It’s rough. It’s exhausting. It’s never ending. And there really isn’t a career path so it can also be unnerving at times.

I miss the social aspect of going into an office, making friends at work, collaborating face to face, having the comradery of believing in company goals, etc.

Working behind the screen is a little different. The comradery is there… Sometimes. It’s harder to figure out who your real friends are & who is blowing smoke. I miss those face to face interactions SO MUCH. Doing it behind a phone is just less fulfilling I guess? Because the genuineness is hard to decipher.

All in all, I’m thankful for what blogging has done for me, but it’s fo sho not my end game. And I’m not sure that it’s a healthy thing to do forever.

I HOPE that this post was not at all discouraging. That’s not what it’s meant to be! But I just want to be real with you. If you want to start a blog (or you’re just curious) you should know what you’re getting yourself into!

If you want to start a blog. I wish you every ounce of luck. It’s competitive. It’s difficult. And you have to get off of your butt and do something about what you want. It’s YOU. And only you so if you aren’t a self motivated person this path not might be quite right for you. But if you are & you’re creative, & passionate, & you are willing to work hard & sacrifice– More power to you sista!

Hopefully that all makes sense….

For more blogging centered content, check out my post about expectations and this post about career tips!

Lots of love!

-Karlee